Johnny was so thirsty. He felt like he could drink a river. He was finally out of the desert and back to civilization after his car engine burned itself out. First the light on the dashboard flashed, and then the engine burned out. He couldn't explain it. He specifically fled into the desert so he could remove the oil without any bigots trying to stop him. He had walked so long, and seen many mirages, but now he was finally back, and what does he see? He sees a yard with the hugest tank of---water! Surely whoever lives here won't mind if he takes a drink? Ohh... That water is going to taste so good, so cool, so sweet as it sooths his parched throat. If he could only find the valve quickly, he could kill that killer thirst in a millisecond. There, the valve is off, he could hear gurgling and flowing. The smell of dog poop on the ground alerted him to watch where he stepped, and suddenly he put his mouth over the valve and began to drink. Freddy, alerted to the fact that someone was in his backyard, and seeing what Johnny was doing ran out and tried to stop him.
"Stop, can't you see you're drinking from a..." Freddy warned.
"Leave me alone," Johnny said as he stopped drinking for a moment. "What's with you molassaphobes! You're always criticizing me! My car broke down and I've...."
Suddenly Johnny became aware of a horrible taste in his mouth
"What is this?" He yelled as he began to vomit.
"It's my septic tank!" said Freddy. "If you're thirsty, come inside... when you stop pewking... I'll get you some real water if you want it!"
"Leave him a lone, Bigot!" Says Joey and the neighbors, armed with clubs as they enter Freddy's yard. If he wants to drink from that sceptic tank let him. "Johnny, you keep drinking, we'll make sure he doesn't bother you. Don't worry about the taste, it's just a mirage created by the guilt people like Johnny make you feel.
"That Makes sense," Freddie says as he continues to drink. "I've seen lots of mirages in the desert. Over my teeth and through the gums... lookout tummy here it comes! Anyone got a spooful of sugar to help the medicine go down?"
